Resolutions

I have had very mixed feelings about new year’s resolutions. I think that it’s important to have goals and work towards achieving things you want to accomplish but a lot of negativity comes along with that.

I tend to be pushed into a negative mindset when it comes to not accomplishing goals on times. Rushing and forcing myself to accomplish something in one year is something that I don’t believe in. Having done this before I tend to be let down, throughout the year reaching the end of my goal seems to become impossible. You have things that come up and will take priority in your life, things that you don’t expect. Sometimes you goals don’t get accomplished in the span of a year, and that’s not your fault. Be kind on yourself, take your mental health into account, and most importantly give yourself times to accomplish what it is you want, when you are ready for it. Keep striving towards what you want in your life everyday, give it all you have and if you don’t get there in a year, you tried your best and that’s all that matters. You just have to keep in mind that your dreams are not on a time limit, and everyday you work towards achieving your dreams you are closer than ever.

We demand to have control over every detail in our lives and that’s not the reality. People will come into our lives or leave and it will alter us, and event we experienced will change our perspective on the world and the way we do things. I believe that having goals is an important thing in life, it is important to strive towards things that you want in life and put yourself and your dreams first. But dreams and goals will change as we grow as people, so setting to accomplish one goal to complete in one year just sends a rush of negativity in your life.

However I do like the idea of setting a goal at the beginning of the year, not to be accomplished in a year, but it gives me the opportunity to reflect on my life in the past year to see what I would like to change. My goal that I have set reflecting back on 2018 is living in the moment.

I spend too much time fretting on issues, conversations, and plans that I spend all of my time worrying. Slowly but surely I am working on taking it day by day. After a day ends I reflect and figure out a way to make the most out of the next day. I have spent too many moment worrying over small inadequate things that I forget to live. I look back and see how many opportunities I gave up: fun times I missed with my friends, opportunities to experience something new, even the days where I missed school due to anxiety. All of these moments could have altered my perspective on life, I won’t ever change if I stay in my comfort zone.

Life is too short to be wasted on worrying, I look back on 2018 and realize that it went by so fast. I can’t seem to figure out if this was a good or bad year of my life.

I have done so many things that I am proud of myself for. I travelled to a new continent, feeling uncertain about the whole trip as it is something I have ever experienced. I went to South Africa, a new country that is nothing like the city of Toronto that I have become so accustomed to. I started by blog, and spent time enriching myself in the plant-based lifestyle. After researching so much I figured out my passion, the environment. I dreamed about what I want my life to look like with an open mind to change. Most importantly for me I finally put my mental health first by using the practice of self care. I took a long break from my personal social media, allowing my self confidence to rise, I took care of myself: trying to sleep more, going to therapy, and treating myself to moments of peace and relaxation. Although not everyday is perfect and there is a lot that I would change I am proud of myself for all that I have accomplished this year.

On the negative side of 2018 I have a lot of regrets. As I look back I find myself regretting all of the opportunities I missed due to my anxiety. I have given up chances with my friends, even if it is something as small as going to the movies or as big as a trip for a week. My social anxiety puts all of these negative views in my mind. I regret all the opportunities I took for granted, I live such a nice life compared to most people. I have supportive parents, I go to a nice school where I have enrichment opportunities, and I have the opportunities to accomplish my dreams. I need to have a more grateful and thankful outlook on my life.

This upcoming year I hope I make mistakes. Making mistakes means that I’m trying new things: learning, living, pushing myself past my comfort zone, changing myself to be a better person, learning new perspectives, changing my world.

Don’t freeze, don’t stop, don’t worry that it isn’t good enough, or it isn’t perfect, whatever it is: dreams, work, family, or life. Whatever you’re scared of doing, do it. Make mistakes.

For everyone reading be grateful and thankful for all that you have, even though it might not seem like much now you will treasure it eventually. One day you will realize that things we take for granted won’t always be with us. Too much time is wasted thinking about things we don’t have, what we could have done to change the result of something. Live your life day by day, take every challenge and opportunity that comes your way. Make mistakes, don’t live in worry you aren’t good enough or you could have fixed something, learn from your mistakes.

Be good to yourself. Be kind to others, friends, family, they won’t always be around forever. And neither will you. Honour your truth and those who support it. Honour your dreams, protect them, don’t give them up for anyone.

Moments can only come by once; so make sure you jump at the opportunity to enrich yourself every time. Do something for yourself, and don’t stop at the sake of anxiety, family, or whatever weighs you down.

Have a wonderful year. And make every moment count in 2019.

 

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